What can I do to help myself?

Helping yourself, or self-help, is a great place to start. It involves figuring out what changes you can make in your own life to help improve your mood. It’s all about what YOU can do for YOU.

It’s a bit like what Alasdair says in his quote, the value of self-help is that you don’t need to rely on other people. You get to take control of your situation and take charge of what you do: learn a new skill; have some fun; do stuff that’s good for you. Your choice.

You could try the following tips:

Talk to someone you trust
Exercise
Inspirational and self-help books
Do something you enjoy and REWARD yourself
Improve your sleep

Alisdair "To me self-help is about being proactive and finding out what there is available to help me. I see a psychologist and take antidepressants but for me this is not enough – I need more if I am to get in control of my depression."

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Talk to someone you trust

You really are not alone. Talking about how you feel is one of the best things you can do if you are concerned about your low mood or anxiety. A problem shared is a problem eased and all that – but talking really can help you feel less alone with your problems. Not that it is always easy. A lot of people will find it hard, and the first time you tell someone about how you are feeling might be really difficult. If you feel you can’t talk to friends or family, then talk to your GP or contact a helpline. There are people who are ready to listen or just be on the other end of the phone when you need them.

While everyone’s experience of low mood, depression and anxiety will be different, talking to other people is a really useful way of getting support. It can be a relief to find out that other people have similar worries and concerns and you aren’t the only one to feel this way. You might know someone else who suffers from low mood, depression or anxiety - by sharing stories of your experience you can learn what strategies worked for them. Even just the process of writing down your experiences can make you feel better. Check out the stories on this website in Is it just me? or there are heaps of quotes dotted on this site that have come from people who have depression and have contacted us for help. Send us an email to ask@lookokfeelcrap.org, or click here to share your story.

Exercise

People who exercise tend to feel happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who are inactive. It’s a fact! A large general public survey done in the UK found that physical exercise was rated as the most effective way of improving low mood. And there is evidence now to back this up. Studies have shown that exercise can prevent depression from occurring and stop it from coming back.

But all things in moderation! If you haven’t done any exercise for a while don’t go crazy with it and start training everyday. Or if you have any other health concerns that make it more difficult to exercise, like ME, then it’s best to talk to your GP or a trainer about what would be best. It’s important that you build your fitness up slowly so that you don’t get too tired and give up, or cause yourself any injuries. Start off by doing something gentle, like walking or swimming. Over time you can get into running, team sports, adventure sports or whatever it is you most enjoy.

Whatever! Read Trish’s blog of her week-long exercise experiment.

The Depression Alliance Scotland website has a page on how exercise can improve your mood, including links to useful resources and information that might get you going. Visit: www.dascot.org/exercise.html.

Inspirational and self-help books

You might find reading self-help or inspirational books a helpful way of finding out more information about mood and anxiety and how to overcome emotional problems. Self-help books range from personal accounts of living with mental health problems to more structured course workbooks where you learn techniques and fill in set tasks.

It is becoming more common for doctors and health clinics to suggest books to people experiencing low mood. This is called bibliotherapy. Ask at your local health centre if this service is available to you.

Depression Alliance Scotland has a books page on their website with a list of books that people have found helpful: www.dascot.org/books.htm. If you’ve read a self-help book that you found helpful and want to write a review, then send it in to us and we can post it on this site. Email us at: ask@lookokfeelcrap.org.

Doing something you enjoy and REWARD yourself

This might sound obvious, but it is quite common for people with depression to stop doing the things that they most enjoy doing. Tiredness, feelings of not being bothered and wanting to hide away often all conspire and you end up doing less and less and seeing less and less people. It can be tough to convince yourself to get out of the house and do it, but planning activities that you used to enjoy will help you keep up a regular routine and in contact with other people. Invite your friends to join you if you need some added motivation. As with exercise, don’t be too adventurous – plan things that are manageable for you and increase them slowly over time. Things you could try:

Meeting a friend for a drink
Going to the movies
Getting creative – writing, sewing, painting, photography
Joining a book group or a similar interest group
Taking music classes
Enjoying a bath
Learning to relax by having a massage, facial, doing yoga or meditation
Listening to music. Playing an instrument!
… Whatever it is that you will ENJOY

Learn to recognise your own successes. It can be easy to compare yourself with your friends and feel that what you are doing is not worth anything, but if you are coping with depression, everything is much harder and any achievement, no matter how big or small, is worth noting.

Helen "I relax by going for a facial, making that time for me is so important – recharging my batteries."

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Improving sleep

It is common to have sleeping difficulties and it can be tempting to turn night into day. This can make things worse, so try to have regular sleeping and eating times, even if it is hard to get to sleep. Here’s some tips:

Don’t worry about it. As hard as it seems worrying about not sleeping just makes it even harder to get to sleep. If you’ve got a lot on your mind and a busy day / week ahead try writing a ‘to do’ list before you go to bed. Also, write down the next step you need to take to progress them. That will hopefully put them out of your mind for the night.
If you find yourself thinking over things while in bed tell yourself that you’ve got it under control and will deal with it in the morning. If your worries are really persistent, write them down. Keep a notepad beside your bed so that it’s handy.
Don’t lie in bed for more than 30 minutes when you can’t sleep. Get up. Walk around your room. Make yourself a camomile tea or milky drink. Do something calm and relaxing. Head back to bed and see if that helps.
Turn your mobile off. Being woken up by a text in the wee early hours aint going to help!
Don’t stay up late on the computer. In fact, don’t do anything that is going to stimulate your brain immediately before going to bed. Computers and TV are not a good idea, as the flashing pictures and colours just keep your brain alert.
Limit naps during the day. Every hour you sleep during the day will mean more time you are awake at night, so unless you have another health condition which means you need more sleep than on average, resist the temptation.
Establish regular times for going to bed and getting up, so that your body and brain recognise when it is time for sleep.
Doing physical exercise during the day can help you get a good night’s sleep, but try not to exercise within 2 hours of going to bed. Exercise sends endorphins around your body which act as a stimulant.
Avoid eating heavy meals just before going to bed as well. Your digestive system will need to work hard to digest the food, and to this it needs to keep your body alert. A warm milky drink or herbal tea such as camomile which is supposed to induce sleep can be helpful though. Our brain often mistakes thirst for hunger, and we end up snacking when our body just needs some water - so try a drink before food.
It can be hard to resist drinking coffee, coke and energy drinks during the day if you’re already tired but this can make your sleep problem worse. All of these drinks have high levels of caffeine in them, which will keep you awake. Watch what you snack on as well – chocolate has caffeine in it, especially the dark stuff! Maybe set a cut-off time during the afternoon when you won’t have any more and try and stick to it.
Same goes with alcohol and cigarettes. While you might think that they help calm you, they can make sleep problems worse. Nicotine is a stimulant, and alcohol disrupts sleep, causing you to wake more easily. Not least of all because you need to pee more.

"It’s 5am. All the worse things come stalking in and stand icily about the bed looking worse and worse and worse." - Fleur Adcock. Things. In: Poems: 1960-2000. Bloodaxe Books.
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Brought to you by Depression Alliance Scotland.
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