They won’t seek help?

You may be concerned about the emotional health of someone you know but they refuse to do anything about it and seek help.  They may deny there is anything wrong with them.  Maybe you feel worried or frustrated about it.

It’s a situation that we hear about quite a lot so don’t blame yourself. 

  1. They may be reluctant to admit that they have depression.  This may be because of stigma about having mental health problems or because they fear it makes them look weak.
  2. They may be fearful of what a diagnosis of depression could mean for them. They not want it on their medical records or for their employer to find out. 
  3. They may feel so hopeless that they feel there is no point in trying to get help or support.   

If someone doesn’t want help for their depression, respect their decision.  If you’re worried about them here are some ideas to support them.

  1. Ask them to tell you why they don’t want help.  They may find it helpful to discuss it with you.  Don’t push them if they won’t talk.
  2. Encourage the person to find out more about depression.  This may help them to realise they aren’t alone and that people are more likely to recover quickly if they seek help.
  3. Read the getting help section for ideas to get support without seeing a GP, if they feel they don't want to talk to their doctor.
  4. They may just need more time to come to terms with the idea of having depression. Remind them that you are there for them.
  5. If they won’t even see you, write them a letter or send them a card just to remind them you are there and you care. 
  6. Don’t let the person become reliant on you as a substitute for seeking help. Be consistent but ensure you have time for your own life and relaxation.  Read the page on looking after yourself for ideas.

What to do if you're very
concerned about the
person

  1. Write to their GP and let them know about your concern.  The GP will not talk to you but they will be aware of the problem when the person next visits.
  2. Call a helpline and ask for advice.  
  3. If you think that they are in serious danger, call 999.  It is always better to err on the side of caution and call the emergency services if you are worried about someone.
  4. Read the page on helping someone who is suicidal.