Self-harm

People self-harm to deal with bad feelings but often it can become a vicious cycle - you feel better for a while but then you feel worse and maybe guilty about the self-harm so you do it again to relieve the feelings. When you're self-harming, it can feel like it is difficult to stop and that you are alone, but there is help and support available.

What's self-harm?
Why do people-self-harm
Who self-harms
Getting help for self-harm
Staying safe while self-harming
How can I help somebody who self-harms
Myths about self-harm
Where to get help

What's self-harm?

Self-harm or self-injury is deliberately hurting yourself physically to deal with emotional distress.

People self-harm by:

• Cutting
• Burning
• Hitting
• Bruising
• Swallowing dangerous objects
• Deliberately taking non-fatal overdoses (this is called self-poisoning)
• Hair pulling
• Compulsive skin picking

Eating disorders, abusing drugs or alcohol, smoking and taking risks could all be seen as forms of self-harm. On this page we're talking about self-injury such as cutting and self-poisoning.

Why do people self-harm?

There are many reasons why someone may self-harm. It's a complex issue with complex causes. Some people self-harm as a way of handling difficult and strong emotions while other people self harm when they feel numb so that they will feel something. Triggers may include bullying, low self-esteem, depression, abuse, bereavement, problems with sex or sexuality, loneliness, discrimination and numerous other reasons.

This video from FirstSigns explains how a lot of people feel.

Who self-harms?

Self harm is more common than we think. It's difficult to know exactly how many people self-harm because people are secretive about it but an estimated one in ten to one in fifteen young people self-harm. Rates are highest among young people, women, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, women especially South Asian women but it is found in people of all ages. Self-harm occurs in men and women and across all social classes, ethnic backgrounds and sexuality.

Getting help for self-harm

A lot of people who self-harm, keep it secret. Talking about it may feel difficult at first it is the first step towards recovery. You may feel very alone with it but you are not alone. In the box on the right are some helpful websites and organisations who understand self-harm and can offer you support and understanding when you are ready to talk about it. You can always contact us too.

Of course it's not always that easy. Moving towards stopping self-harm is a proces, but there is help and support out there to help you do it..

Staying safe

• Use clean instruments to cut and don't share instruments
• If you cut don't cut too deeply and only cut enough to relieve your distress
• Wash and dress wounds immediately if they are shallow
• If it is a deep wound or bleeding profusely call 999 or go to Accident and Emergency (A & E). Thesite.org have a good page on what to expect at A & E.
• Always have first aid information handy. Here's some first aid advice from the St Johns Ambulance on wounds and burns. There's also good information on self-harm websites, First Signs and Recover Your Life.
• If you have taken an overdose, go to A & E.
• Don't drink or do drugs if you feel like you are going to hurt yourself

How can I help someone who self harms?

• See the person not the self-harm. They are still the same person they were before.
• Acknowledge how bad they feel
• Don't take it personally
• Educate yourself about self harm - the organisations on the right are a good place to start.
• Don't give ultimations or take away the things they use to self-harm as this may make them hide the self-harm.
• Look after yourself and get support for yourself. Caring about someone who self-harms can be very worrying.

Read the family and friends section for more ideas about caring for someone in emotional distress.

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Copyright: DAS, 2010. Last updated: 01/03/10