If they are suicidal

Assess the risk of suicide

If you suspect someone may be at risk of suicide, it is important to ask them directly about suicidal thoughts. Do not avoid using the word ‘suicide’. It is important to ask the question without dread, and without expressing a negative judgement. The question must be direct and to the point. For example, you could ask:

“Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or
“Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

If you appear confident in the face of the suicide crisis, this can be reassuring for the suicidal person.

How should I talk with someone who is suicidal?

It is important to:

Tell the suicidal person that you care and that you want to help them.
Express empathy for the person and what they are going through.
Clearly state that thoughts of suicide are often associated with a treatable mental disorder, as this may instil a sense of hope for the person.
Tell the person that thoughts of suicide are common and do not
have to be acted on.

Suicidal thoughts are often a plea for help and a desperate attempt to escape from problems and distressing feelings. You should encourage the suicidal person to do most of the talking, if they are able to. They need the opportunity to talk about their feelings and their reasons for wanting to die and may feel great relief at being able to do this. It may be helpful to talk about some of the specific problems the person is experiencing. Discuss ways to deal with problems which seem impossible to cope with, but do not attempt to ‘solve’ the problems yourself.

Myths about Suicide

Myth: Talking about suicide can put the idea in the person’s mind,
Fact: This is not true. Talking about suicide can allow the person to express how they are feeling
Myth: Someone who talks about suicide isn’t really serious.
Fact: Remember that talking about suicide may be a way for the person to indicate just how badly they are feeling.

How can I keep the person safe?

A person who is actively suicidal should not be left on their own. If you can’t stay with them, you need to arrange for someone else to do so. In addition give the person a safety contact which is available at all times (such as a telephone help line, a friend or family member who has agreed to help, or a professional help giver).

It is important to help the suicidal person to think about people or things that have supported them in the past and find out if these supports are still available. These might include a doctor, psychologist or other mental health worker, family member or friend, or a community group such as a club or church.

Do not use guilt and threats to prevent suicide. For example, do not tell the person they will go to hell if they die by suicide, or that they will ruin people’s lives by killing themselves.

What about professional help?

During the crisis
Mental health professionals advocate always asking for professional help, especially if the person is psychotic. If the suicidal person has a weapon or is behaving aggressively towards you, you must seek assistance from the police in order to protect yourself. However, the person you are helping may be very reluctant to involve a professional and, if the person is close to you, you may be concerned about alienating them. In fact, some people who have experienced suicidal thoughts or who have made plans for suicide feel that professional help is not always necessary.

After the crisis has passed
After the suicide crisis has passed, ensure the person gets whatever psychological and medical help they need. See the Getting Help section for more information.

What if the person makes me promise not to tell anyone else?

You should never agree to keep a plan for suicide a secret. However, you should respect the person’s right to privacy and involve them in decisions regarding who else knows about their suicidal intentions.

A final note

Do your best for the person you are trying to help.
Remember, though, that despite our best efforts, some people will still die by suicide.

Information on this page is adapted from the Mental Health First Aid Guideline for Suicide with permission. The guideline can be downloaded from http://www.mhfa.com.au/Guidelines.shtml

Signs that someone is feeling suicidal

Threatening to hurt or kill themselves
Looking for ways to kill themselves: seeking access to pills, weapons, or other means
Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
Hopelessness
Rage, anger, seeking revenge
Acting recklessly or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
Feeling trapped, like there’s no way out
Increasing alcohol or drug use
Withdrawing from friends, family or society
Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
Dramatic changes in mood
No reason for living, no sense of purpose in life

angry "I thought that being dead would be the answer...suicide seemed like the only way out at that point because I felt so low all the time. I was lucky; I can see that now. Not only did someone find me and take me to hospital.... but I also found that with the right help and support I did gradually recover."

add your own quote

Brought to you by Depression Alliance Scotland.
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If they are suicidal
Assess the risk of suicide If you suspect someone may be at risk of suicide, it is important to ask them directly about suicidal thoughts. Do not avoid using the word ‘suicide’. It is important to ask the question without dread, and without expressing a negative judgement. The question must be direct and to the point. For example, you could ask: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” If you appear confident in the face of the suicide crisis, this can be reassuring for the suicidal person. How should I talk with someone who is suicidal? It is important to: Tell the suicidal person that you care and that you want to help them. Express empathy for the person and what they are going through. Clearly state that thoughts of suicide are often associated with a treatable mental disorder, as this may instil a sense of hope for the person. Tell the person that thoughts of suicide are common and do not have to be acted on. Suicidal thoughts are often a plea for help and a desperate attempt to escape from problems and distressing feelings. You should encourage the suicidal person to do most of the talking, if they are able to. They need the opportunity to talk about their feelings and their reasons for wanting to die and may feel great relief at being able to do this. It may be helpful to talk about some of the specific problems the person is experiencing. Discuss ways to deal with problems which seem impossible to cope with, but do not attempt to ‘solve’ the problems yourself. Myths about Suicide *Myth: Talking about suicide can put the idea in the person’s mind, Fact: This is not true. Talking about suicide can allow the person to express how they are feeling Myth: Someone who talks about suicide isn’t really serious.* Fact: Remember that talking about suicide may be a way for the person to indicate just how badly they are feeling. How can I keep the person safe? A person who is actively suicidal should not be left on their own. If you can’t stay with them, you need to arrange for someone else to do so. In addition give the person a safety contact which is available at all times (such as a telephone help line, a friend or family member who has agreed to help, or a professional help giver). It is important to help the suicidal person to think about people or things that have supported them in the past and find out if these supports are still available. These might include a doctor, psychologist or other mental health worker, family member or friend, or a community group such as a club or church. Do not use guilt and threats to prevent suicide. For example, do not tell the person they will go to hell if they die by suicide, or that they will ruin people’s lives by killing themselves. What about professional help? During the crisis Mental health professionals advocate always asking for professional help, especially if the person is psychotic. If the suicidal person has a weapon or is behaving aggressively towards you, you must seek assistance from the police in order to protect yourself. However, the person you are helping may be very reluctant to involve a professional and, if the person is close to you, you may be concerned about alienating them. In fact, some people who have experienced suicidal thoughts or who have made plans for suicide feel that professional help is not always necessary. After the crisis has passed After the suicide crisis has passed, ensure the person gets whatever psychological and medical help they need. See the Getting Help section for more information. What if the person makes me promise not to tell anyone else? You should never agree to keep a plan for suicide a secret. However, you should respect the person’s right to privacy and involve them in decisions regarding who else knows about their suicidal intentions. A final note Do your best for the person you are trying to help. Remember, though, that despite our best efforts, some people will still die by suicide. Information on this page is adapted from the Mental Health First Aid Guideline for Suicide with permission. The guideline can be downloaded from http://www.mhfa.com.au/Guidelines.shtml	Signs that someone is feeling suicidal Threatening to hurt or kill themselves Looking for ways to kill themselves: seeking access to pills, weapons, or other means Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide Hopelessness Rage, anger, seeking revenge Acting recklessly or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking Feeling trapped, like there’s no way out Increasing alcohol or drug use Withdrawing from friends, family or society Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time Dramatic changes in mood No reason for living, no sense of purpose in life "I thought that being dead would be the answer...suicide seemed like the only way out at that point because I felt so low all the time. I was lucky; I can see that now. Not only did someone find me and take me to hospital.... but I also found that with the right help and support I did gradually recover." add your own quote
Brought to you by Depression Alliance Scotland. About Us \| Can you really say 'crap'? \| Funders \| Contact Us
Copyright: DAS, 2008; Last updated: 17/6/08